my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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