whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
