Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
