I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
