He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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