He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im holly from the hills drunk
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
