The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize