am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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