and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
