Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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