Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
