another moral hangover. fuck.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
