Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I cut my penus on the lid.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
