So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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