there was a trapeze. enough said
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
