they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
