found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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