WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
