Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
