I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
