is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
