shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This baby is an asshole
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
