It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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