you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
