Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
