You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do herpes really smell.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
