We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
