video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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