Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
