I think I died a long time ago.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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