Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
