there's paper in my vomit.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
