I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
