Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
