And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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