Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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