Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
