actually, I'm a sock model
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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