dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i out mim tonsoeep
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