nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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