i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
