I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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