You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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