The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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