YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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