My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
