You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
