Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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