? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
