Plan B is the new Plan A
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
