Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
ttyl tear gas
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
