i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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