Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
