I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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