She's JV to your varsity
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
