You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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