I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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